The M-word – Magic Pixies

Who doesn’t love their magic pixies? You know the ones; they do all the boring shit. They cook, they clean, they repair stuff, they organise stuff, they write letters, they remember birthdays, they organise Christmas, in fact, they do pretty much every God damn thing you can think of!

What? You don’t have one? Oh, you must, they’re simply amazing……

But here’s the thing. You must NEVER, ever pay attention to anything they’ve done, or indeed, mention it if ever you do notice what they’ve done. You see, drawing attention to them by showing appreciation leaves them feeling ever so upset……SAID NO MAGIC PIXIE EVER!

Magic Pixies are especially dangerous when mixed with a volatile dose of hormones. My advice would be to invest time in studying your pixie in order to determine when said hormones are at their most unstable, and potentially lethal.

It is also worth noting there are magic pixie models out there who can demonstrate this volatility without a hormone ever being present. Generally, this is found in the more advanced models who have yet to be programmed to tolerate crap ……

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